Chicago Wedding Invitations

~ An Introduction to Wedding Invitation Etiquette ~

by Megan Bacalao Virkler

As our society evolves, so does our etiquette. Many rules of etiquette were made (and continue to be made) to deal with difficult and changing social situations. Various aspects of etiquette have changed over the years--things deemed acceptable now would have horrified the previous generations, and likely, many of today's rules may appear archaic and obsolete to a future generation.

 

At its core, etiquette is based on common sense and courtesy. Your guests need certain information to get them to your wedding--the names of the hosts, what the event is, and the date, time, and place. You want, of course, to convey this information to them as graciously as possible. A courteous invitation makes all your guests feel wanted and never hurts anybody's feelings.

 

At Crane & Co., Paper Makers we receive many questions from brides concerning proper wording for their wedding invitation and other related items. This article has been written in an attempt to answer some of those questions for you.

 

Some Points to Remember

1. Your wedding invitations will set the tone for your wedding and will create your guests' first impressions. When selecting the invitations, keep in mind what kind of wedding you are having as your invitations and wedding should complement each other.
2. Wedding invitations should be ordered at least three months in advance. This should leave you enough time for engraving, addressing, and mailing.
3. Your wedding invitations should be mailed four to six weeks before the wedding.

 

Some Frequently Asked Questions

1. Should we send engagement announcements?
   Sending an engagement announcement is the best way to ensure that all your friends and family hear about your engagement--it certainly saves you making a lot of phone calls. Don't worry, an announcement is not a request for a gift and no one who receives an announcement should feel obligated to send you one.
2. When should we send rehearsal dinner invitations?
   The invitations to the dinner following a wedding rehearsal should be sent out by the groom's family two weeks before the wedding. The guest list traditionally includes just the wedding party, but this has changed somewhat in recent years to also accommodate the out-of-town guests.
3. Should we send save-the-date cards?
   Save-the-date cards are invaluable when you are inviting a lot of out-of-town guests, your wedding is over a holiday weekend, or is in a vacation area. They are sent out at least three months before your wedding and allow your guests to make their plans ahead of time. Only your out-of-town guests need to receive them, but it's a nice gesture to send them to your in-town guests, too, lest they think that they are not invited.
4. What kind of paper should we use?
   Crane's papers are made from 100% cotton. This has numerous benefits, including that it is environmentally friendly and long lasting. Your wedding invitation will look as beautiful on your Golden Wedding Anniversary as it did on the day you sent it. The color of the paper is a matter of personal preference. Formal wedding invitations can be engraved on either white or ecru, the latter being the color of choice in the Americas, while white is preferred in Europe. The paper can either be folded in half with the fold on the left-hand side, or a flat card and can be either plain or paneled. The choice between the two can depend on the typestyle--scripts look better on a plain sheet, while block styles look good on paneled papers.
5. What color ink should we use?
   Black or dark gray are the two most common colors used, and are the most appropriate for formal invitations. Other colors may be used for less formal weddings.
6. Who's names should be on the invitation?
   The hosts of the wedding issue the invitations; traditionally, this would be the parents of the bride. However, it is becoming more common for the bride and groom to appear as the hosts, particularly if they are paying for the wedding alone. Usually, only the bride's parents' names appear, but in Jewish tradition, the groom's parents also appear on the invitation, under the groom's name. Stepparents can be a tricky situation, and appear depending on the personal choice of the couple and their family. Courtesy is a big factor. Deceased family members' names should not appear on the invitation, as they are not hosts of the wedding. They can be honored in many other ways in the wedding. The consultants at the Crane & Co., Paper Makers stores will be able to guide you in this process.

 

This article includes excerpts from the Crane's Wedding Blue Book by Steven L. Feinberg.